By Jonathan Feldstein
After days of juggling, explaining, and cutting short my travel plans, I was privileged to make it home in time last week for my newest grandson’s circumcision ceremony, brit mila. While he’s my fifth grandson, he’s the first Feldstein grandson, the first son of my first son, the first of a new generation, and the first Feldstein born in Israel since my youngest son was born 20 years ago, and my father was some seven decades earlier.
But to make it home “in time” I needed to postpone a major event for which I was partly in charge, the Root & Branch Unity Conference, along with my friend and partner Marziyeh Amirizadeh. She understood the importance immediately, but it required a bit of explaining to our host committee and sponsors. The truth is that my grandson’s early arrival and postponing our plans all worked as part of God’s plan. Seen as a minor medical procedure more than anything else, some asked why it was important for me to be home for this at all? And if it was so important, I was asked why we couldn’t just push off the brit mila ceremony by a few days. I explained that for 4000 years, since Abraham and Isaac, the Jewish people have observed the tradition of welcoming new baby boys into our eternal covenant with God on the eighth day. This is one of many ancient traditions that the Jewish people have embraced and upheld for millennia, one that’s biblically rooted, and one that while not the tradition of our Christian host committee members and sponsors, to which they related.
Much more than a minor medical procedure, there’s something spiritual and historic in being able to participate in this ancient tradition in our modern nation state. I was given the honor of holding the baby as the circumcision took place, a role imbued with being his godfather, but with much more meaning.
Some people looked at the idea of seeing the actual procedure taking place as gross. I explained that it’s far more than a medical procedure, rather like a spiritual time machine, bringing another Jewish baby into our eternal covenant with God. To be alive and privileged to be there, much less to take part is a privilege for which I am grateful. I was grateful too that our host committee and sponsors understood and celebrated with me.
There’s also something deeply personal. As our tradition is to name our children for people who are not alive, this is the first Feldstein first, first-born boy born in generations not to be named for a dead grandfather. I am named for the grandfather I never knew, and my son the new father is named for my father who he should have known. Just being there and not having this baby named for any grandparent was meaningful, breaking this sad “tradition” has weighed on me for years.
This new baby was surrounded by four living grandparents, one of five living great grandparents, as well as many uncles, aunts and cousins.
There are no sufficient words to express how important and meaningful this is, as well as to be the grandfather who my grandson is NOT named for.
After the ceremony, my son and daughter in law spoke beautifully. I’ll probably never not get choked up reading what they said as they explained why they named him Idan Malachi. Quoting and paraphrasing what they said, let me share about him and his name.
Idan was born on the Shabbat when we read Parashat Shoftim, the Torah portion in Deuteronomy which deals with the public authorities: the judiciary, the monarchy, the priesthood, and prophecy – the four pillars of Israeli society. Four pillars that balance one another and take responsibility for the people. “With God’s help, with the birth of Idan a new era will begin – one of harmony and unity among our people.”
Some Jewish traditions also connect the significance of the numerical value, the gematria, of a name or word to words and phrases with the same value to amplify its meaning. The numerical value of “Idan Malachi” equals “Kulanu Am Echad” – “We are all one people” – something easy to say but harder to implement. And another gematria of his name is “A Sign of Redemption.”
“Beyond the fact that for us Idan begins a new era in our lives, the era of parenthood, Idan also means a time, a period. So too is the (Biblical) month of Elul, the month of return and renewal. It is so important in life always to be in motion and progress – to seek, to learn, and to renew. In this period into which you were born, we wish you to bring renewal into the world, not to be afraid to create, and to bring yourself fully into every place you reach.”
Ecclesiastes teaches: “For everything there is a season” – every stage of life and the world carries its mission and purpose. Idan was born in a very special period, and even in his first week, he experienced it when he went to the bomb shelter for the first of several times. He was born in a time of great clarification in the world – a struggle of good against evil. A difficult war, yet one in which we also witness amazing processes unfolding.
“We wish for Idan that in his time a new era will come to the world, that in his time we will progress from the beginning of redemption to its complete fulfillment, and that he will act for this great purpose as part of the special people into which he was born. Just now, he has entered the covenant of Abraham, meriting to continue a tradition thousands of years old, of a nation that brings a different message to the world – a message of morality, Torah, and immense goodness. With God’s help, our Idan will be a great part of this era.”
Idan’s middle name is Malachi, the meaning of which is “my messenger,” or “messenger of God.” “In our time, we have seen so many messengers who perform unique missions, fighting at home and on the front lines for Israel’s victory in this war. We have seen so many people who do not think of themselves but act for the greater good: fathers fighting on the battlefield and mothers holding strong and fighting for the home.”
When my son noted, “We cannot ignore or forget the heroes who fell for this exalted purpose,” he had in mind specific friends, soldiers who he was close to, who were killed during this war. “We wish for Idan Malachi that beyond caring for his immediate circle, he will know how to broaden his horizons, to think and act for others and for the collective.”
“The Book of Malachi concludes the Prophets. It contains his words to Israel in the days of the Return to Zion. The prophet Malachi had several missions, among them strengthening the people in the service of God, and through the priests, guiding them to serve God properly. He sought to give them hope for the future.”
“We wish you, Idan Malachi, that you will always find your mission in this world, and build a meaningful and wonderful life filled with content and purpose. Another point about Malachi: he was the last prophet to speak with Divine inspiration. And in this time, as we see before our eyes the realization of ancient prophecies, we pray that Malachi will be part of their continued fulfillment and act on their behalf.”
“To conclude, I will end with the opening verse of this week’s Torah portion: “When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God delivers them into your hand, and you take captives.” Our sages explain that this refers to the war of the yetzer (the evil inclination) – a person goes out to a life full of challenges. To win those battles, God sends a person angels and guardians. The name Malachi reminds us that Idan begins his journey with divine protection and guidance, as it is said in Psalms 91:11 ‘For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.’”
“We bless you with a life filled with renewal and mission, overflowing with joy, love, and goodness. We are always here for you, and we love you.”
A few days later, Idan and I got to take a nap together. My daughter in law took a picture of him snuggling on my chest, my right arm embracing him and holding him in place. It’s a beautiful picture of a precious moment. At second glance, I could not help but wonder if when he grows up he will notice and ask me, “Saba (grandpa), what’s that yellow bracelet you’re wearing while you’re holding me?”
Hopefully, long before he is old enough to be aware or ask, the bracelet with the words “Bring Them Home Now” will be something that’s part of our past, that all the hostages held in Gaza will have been released, and that they and their families will have had closure albeit with scars of 700+ days in captivity by Hamas. Hopefully I will be able to explain to Idan that just as in my youth I advocated for the freedom of Jews in the Soviet Union, when he was born our people experienced a period of great trauma, and unity. And that this is all part of our tradition, also going back thousands of years and which he is now charged with perpetuating for our future.
For me, I thank God for the privilege to have allowed me to be part of this occasion, for the continuation of His protection especially at times that are so challenging, for new life and renewal of my grandson and at this season, and for dear Christian friends with whom I have been able to share just one more meaningful aspect of Jewish life and tradition, where even the most minor medical procedure is imbued with abundant meaning. Definitely worth cutting my trip short.